Do you ever just stop and think through who you are and where you are at in life? From time to time just when it feels right I will stop and then I start to think through my life. I look back at my decisions, relationships, my ministry, my relationship with the Lord, my goals and my hopes for the future. Each time I do this it comes down to a spiritual matter within my heart: am I ready to truly encounter the Lord? Because each of those things I sift through (my decisions, relationships, my ministry, my relationship with the Lord, my goals and my hopes for the future) need to be aligned to the eternal perspective in which I live for.
I read something Oswald Chambers once wrote, and it began to convict me. He said, “Christian workers greatest need is a readiness to face Jesus Christ at any and every turn.” As I read this my heart sunk. Because those questions I wrestle with from time to time really have to answer that question am I ready to face an exposure of Jesus Christ in those things. He goes on to say that “this is not easy, no matter what our experience has been. This battle is not against sin, difficulties, or circumstances, but against being so absorbed in our service to Jesus Christ that we are not ready to face Jesus Himself at every turn. “
I’m saturated in service. I know that may not sound “humble” but I have to be honest as I write even now. I’m fully committed to a lot of different things. And those things that I call into question and evaluate from time to time like I am now have so much of my attention that I wonder if I am ready to face Jesus Himself at every turn. As I continue to read through Chamber’s writing my convicted heart and mind begins to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit through his writing as I continue to read. “The greatest need [Nick] is not facing our [your] beliefs or doctrines, or even facing the [your] questions of whether or not we [you] are of any use to Him, but the need [your need Nick] is to face Him.“
I’m tired of thinking through/sifting/wrestling with these issues such as my decisions, relationships, my ministry, my relationship with the Lord, my goals and my hopes for the future. It gets tiring after awhile. I told a friend the other day that “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.” God said very plainly to me that those ‘things’ I think through and wrestle with are not the greatest needs in my life. The greatest need is for me to be ready to encounter Him. To see Him at work in those issues and then praise Him for His faithfulness and follow His leading obediently.
How do I prepare myself for this? And, am I ready?
reflections of hope 
I am on here too!