buying into the marriage lies

I believe with all my heart that there is an attack upon marriage today. People come together, in holy matrimony, and are ending up in a holy hell. I see it almost every day in perfect strangers – as well as I hear about it all the time from friends. Naturally my heart hurts for the stranger I witness in a store or park, whose marriage is “oh-so-publically” falling apart. And if it is possible, my heart aches all the more for my dear friends who are struggling in their marriage as well. Marriage is meant to be amazing – and with the right tools & support – redemption from the hard stuff a marriage faces is suppose to be life-changing. Yet for many it is not. For many, their marriage is struggling, and even ending.

My marriage is far from perfect, because I am far from perfect. My smokin’ hot wife is truly amazing. Compassionate, merciful, faithful, fiercely loyal and tremendously loving. When communication breaks down in our marriage and we experience a conflict, she is always quick to show me grace, and give me space to process my short-comings, or my needs. We have always worked at not buying into the marriage lies that many today are faced with, and many of which they are believing. Before our marriage even started, we made a commitment to one another, that in our marriage, we will give up our right, to be right – and that we are committed to be redemptive, rather than “be right.” Not buying into the marriage lies takes focus and commitment, consistently – and that’s what makes it so hard.

Recently a friend shared on a social media site a blog called, “3 Marriage Lies“. I read it once, and then I read it again. I read it a third time. And then I called my wife and I told her to read it. I read it so many times and ended up calling home about it because it so clearly articulated exactly what so many people are struggling with right now in their marriages. Whether its been a perfect stranger, or a dear friend, many I encounter are buying into the marriage lies rather than living in the truth and power of redemption. Read this blog and let it encourage your heart, and your marriage. (CLICK HERE to read the “3 Marriage Lies” blog.)

What you just read in the “3 Marriage Lies” is just the start. There are so many other tools out there for you to grab onto – the key will be for you to use them. If you need help, tell someone. Talk to someone, now. Let them know the lies you are buying into and stop going to “people and sources” that you know are just going to agree with you, and fuel the lies you’ve bought into. It’s not working – so stop it.

God never intended your marriage to be a place of pain or isolation. And I don’t want to, for a second, ignore those in a marriage where there is so much abuse happening either that you see no other way out, then leaving. That situation needs help. You need to be safe. You deserve to be loved and secure. What I am talking about, or speaking to rather, is those marriages where people are wounded and hurt and who have bought into a variety of marriages lies that have done nothing but bring down their marriage. God never intended your marriage to be a place like this and I hope you understand that God has no plan to leave it that way – so why should you? Fight for your marriage my friends. Seek redemption over your rightness. Seek healing over pain. Stop buying into the marriages lies and start living out, each day – and perhaps, moment by moment – the truth of what love really is suppose to be…

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrongsuffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)