Nick Emery depression, discpleship, experience, grace, tragedy

Depression, Suicide and Our Response

Are you living a life worth following? As a pastor in our community, I want to be known as someone who loves God with all of my heart, as someone who serves his family well and has never sacrificed them on the alter of ministry. And, I desire to be known – not for the things I am against, but rather for the things I am for: that all may come to know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and Lord and be committed to a life of growing in Christ and in the knowledge of God’s Holy Word. 

However, I also know that there is a great problem amongst the believing world, and within the church. So then, in light of recent events (the suicide of a well known pastor this month), I want to share something with other Disciples of Christ: I am pastor who struggles with anxiety and anxiety based depression. I need to take medicine every day. Without it I struggle to process things correctly and this has an impact on many parts of my life.

As a pastor in my community, I deal with people that are battling addiction, in the midst of affairs, addressing anger, doubt, disbelief, and those who struggle with gossip, and grief – plus, many other things. The last thing that I would do is to tell them: “Just have more faith in God…” Yet, many call into question the faith of those pastors or believers who struggle with depression or anxiety. For some of us, we have chemical imbalances or we have deep life issues that, although we are committed to working on, require time and the right tools along the way to help us experience healing and to move forward, daily, by God’s grace.

I share this because there needs to be an awareness that this is a very real thing in ministry, in the church, and in our communities. This is something that a lot of us fight every day, and many ministry leaders battle each weekend when we step down from the pulpit and seek to live out Biblical truth.

So in light of recent events like that pastor’s struggle with depression and his suicide this month, and with October being called “Pastor Appreciation Month” – I ask you to be the people of God who make sure their pastor knows you are praying for them. And, be the people of God who will, with authenticity, help those struggling with issues of the heart and mental health issues as well. Don’t stay silent. Pray. Encourage. Invest in real relationships that speak louder than the gauntlet of depressing and doubt-filled thoughts. I spend a lot of time with other pastors in my community and I can say this of most of them: they are on their knees in prayer – praying for you and this community, daily investing in Kingdom minded work that often times takes years to bear fruit. At every turn along the way, there will still be elements of discouragement. There are constantly people walking away from the church, angry without cause, silently critical, yet your pastor still prays for these people with a heart that, often times, is broken and hurt and confused.

I say all of this from personal experience. Never think that a short but genuine word of encouragement, or a simple email or note is going to cause anyone to get a huge head. If anything, it might be exactly what we need at that moment, so let the Holy Spirit use you to encourage those who are broken and hurting, including your pastor. 

69743655_10157347863161698_3867204925733732352_oFor those struggling with anxiety, depression and other aspects of mental health – there is hope. His name is Jesus. Cling to Him. Run to His Holy Word and rest in His promises for your life, for all of our lives. Don’t give up. We are not weak. We are not weak in faith. We are like everyone else: sinners in need of grace, mercy and encouragement from God the Father and from God’s people. If you need help, reach out. Tell someone. As something Pastor Jarrid Wilson often said: “Hope Gets the Last Word!”

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicidal thoughts, reach out for help. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at tel:1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Here is some of the Scriptures I have used, and encourage you to use, to regain your focus on God, His TRUTH and the HOPE we have in knowing Him and His promises…

Zephaniah 3:17 – “For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Psalm 107:14 – “He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom; he snapped their chains.”

Psalm 30:5 – “…Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”

1 Peter 4:12-13 – “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.”

Psalm 37:23-24 – “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.”

Isaiah 41:10 – “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

2 Timothy 1:7 – “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

Psalm 42:5-6 – “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you…”

John 16:33 – “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

(Adapted, originally written for the “Nevada Appeal” and their Faith & Insight Article, Sept. 21, 2019)

Nick Emery Bible, devotions, grace, Kingdom of God, love, mercy, prayer, the heart of Jesus, tragedy

tragedy

Americans started off this past week with horrific news. Dozens upon dozens of people are dead and hundreds more are injured after a gunman opened fired at a Las Vegas music festival. This is being called the deadliest shooting in modern U.S. history. It is senseless. This attack hit close to home for Carson City residents remembering our own local tragedy that hit our city on September 6, 2011 when a gunman opened fired at IHOP killing four people. This is not the first time (or last time) our community has felt the sting of death and the pain of searing loss.

Our hearts break far too often because of the senseless rage of a lone gunman or because of the seemingly endless assault of terror, death and tragedy that plays out in lives, our community and in the world. Perhaps you have thought or prayed about living in a world in which friends could go to the movie theater, where athletes could run marathons, where our kids could go to the park or school, where people could attend concerts and where one could go to places like nightclubs and or even churches without the fear of violence.

The reality is that have to deal with events like natural disasters, such as earthquakes and hurricanes, and although those are devastating in their own right, it is the unexplainable and senseless acts of evil that is poured out on others that bring about a deep level of grief and pain. And often in those experiences, we are left asking: “Why?”

How do we as Christ followers respond to the senseless tragedy within our own lives? How do we answer the “why” question, or even more difficult yet, what do we say when the world asks us, “Why did God allow this to happen…?” Perhaps, there is no single response that can adequately address the complexity or these questions. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, nor is there any election result that can fix this once and for all. But, in the midst of the pain and confusion our God is big enough, great enough, powerful enough, and merciful enough to handle every single “Why?” In His divine nature and His role as Creator and Sustainer, He can and will reveal to those searching how He was and is present with us during the most painful, tragic, and senseless seasons in our lives.

God’s Word is very clear on how His people should respond when tragedy hits. Romans 12:15 says: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” Jesus taught that: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). Psalm 42 is a beautiful prayer that encourages us as we read it, to rest in the Lord for His hope and wisdom during the toughest experiences in life. Psalm 34:18 declares that “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” If you have ever been through a tragic event or experienced the death of a loved one, then you know that often that time of difficulty can be but a blur. Days may seem endless, sleep is fleeting, and the tears rise like flood waters. Yet, if you are blessed enough to be surrounded by a strong support system, this network is somehow getting you from place to place, it is present, and it is sustaining in the midst of the blur. The Lord is like that for us spiritually, but in a much deeper and much more profound way. In our time of need He will take care of us in ways we cannot fully explain or always comprehend. He is there and He is at work – just like the wind we may not be able to see it, but we can sure see its affects!

So how do we as Christ followers respond to the senseless tragedy? The church, our leaders and pastors, the neighbor, parent or student – we must respond, but how? We simply do. We do not stay silent and we do not stay at a distance. We go and be the church, the kind of church that Jesus had in mind all along. We should not stay silent and we should not sit back doing nothing. We pray. We stay humble. We serve. We laugh with and cry with those around us. We confess and repent of any wrong. We cling to Jesus and the Holy Word of God, and nothing else. We forgive, and love, and hope, and trust. We turn to the Lord for the strength we fear we might not have, for He has it. And, we point people back to the hope of knowing Jesus personally and the joy that is found in eternal security in Him.

We actually do have the things that can change this world: the hope of Jesus Christ and His ever present comfort to those in need. What you do in response to senseless tragedy matters more than ever. We are meant to be the conduit of God’s mercy and grace to a hurting and broken world. So, let us go and be the church, the church that boldly declares: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners.” (Isaiah 61:1)

Lord, as we have learned to do in all our experiences, we come to You now. We know that You love us, and that You can turn even the shadow of death into the light of morning. Help us now to wait before You for healing and hope as we grieve and mourn. Make this a time of opening our eyes and our understanding of Your comfort and of your love. I pray that you would bless those who feel this sorrow most deeply, and unify Your Bride, Your church, so that we may share with our friends and family our spiritual strength and faith in You which is ours through the love of Christ, in whose name we pray. Amen.

(Adapted: Originally written for the “Nevada Appeal” which appeared on Oct. 7, 2017)

Nick Emery Uncategorized

faith & easter

How would you define faith? Now, how would you define Easter?

For me, both words are connected to my relationship with the Lord. Yet I recognize that people can have faith in many things, even in people and still not define the word “faith” from a spiritual standpoint like I would. The same is true for Easter. Even though most churches see more people on Easter Sunday than any other time of year – there is large cluster of people who would define Easter in terms like: Easter Bunny, Easter Egg, Easter Egg Hunt, Easter Basket, Easter Dinner, etc. – things that don’t even imply the Christian celebration of Easter, the remembrance of Christ resurrection and victory over sin and death.

Now for some that may not seem like a big distinction. And perhaps for others their definition of Easter would contain elements for both. People may debate the correctness of that – I won’t, probably ever. My kids will probably know both perspectives of Easter – the Easter bunny and the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Yet just like my definition of “faith” and “easter” tend to center on my relationship with Christ, so should the way I live out my faith and the hope I have because of that first Easter.

I have encounter many people who struggle with believing God, with having a saving faith in Him. They have their lists. And those list are long. And the validity of their lists are scary. And I have encountered people who struggle with Easter. They struggle with all the ways the Easter story of Jesus Christ blows holes in their common logic or personal experiences. Both the lists of “why I am not a Christian” and the statements regarding the resurrection of Jesus being illogical, etc. are for many, very valid.

Yet tolerance can be a scary thing, can’t it? Tolerance keeps us from action. And with issues regarding our faith in God and with the true meaning of Easter, tolerance, in my opinion, cannot be afforded. Yet we often allow tolerance to creep into our relationship with God. And tolerance begins to destroy our faith. Some of you reading right now, may be shaking your heads in disagreement with this idea. Yet if you’re pro-tolerance, then why can you shake your head at what I am saying now? Doesn’t that speak against the very spirit of tolerance?

Faith has to be defined in a very specific way, not just tolerated or even put into our schedule or calendar. We have come to tolerate too many definitions of a saving faith in God. We have allowed to many others things to define faith and use the word faith as their describer – and the same is very true with Easter.

The resurrection of Jesus Christ changes everything. All of history pointed to a Messiah that would come and save us all from sin. And all of history has pointed back to that moment when Jesus conquered sin and death. Faith in the resurrection of Jesus Christ changes everything for us as followers of the Lord. Every aspect of our lives, every day, should reflect the promise and power of the resurrection.

This Easter I have been reminded how to define faith and how to live in the promise and the power of the resurrection. We make believing in God and in the story of the resurrection so very complicated. Many have been hurt by the church or appalled by hypocritical Christians. And although I feel like I understand why this happens, but they let those things keep them living a life of faith, fueled by the promise of the resurrection.

Yet this Easter I was reminded of what simple, yet powerful faith is all about. I preached today about the promise we have from God through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I wanted to give those in church who had never accepted Christ as their Savior, a chance to confess their faith in the Lord and in their desire to live out the power of the resurrection. Two of those who raised their hands were mentally handicapped adults. I don’t even normally ask people to raise their hands, but I did today. I told them I wanted to see their faces and to pray for them specifically.

A simple, yet powerful faith is one that is trusting. It looks past those who might be watching and goes straight to the core of the issue. Without hesitation, those adults raised their hands. Their hearts and minds, I am convinced, have the freedom of a child. Nothing holds them back. They want to claim a saving faith in God. They don’t question it. They don’t limit it because of the other things they’ve faced in life. The just do it. The raise their hands and they are all in. And they want others to know.

From the very start, they stop and proclaim what God has done for them. Perhaps that is what has happened to us as tolerance has crept into our lives? We stopped proclaiming the promises of Easter daily, and we settle for a once a year remembrance on Easter alone and regardless of how you define it, faith should change us.

The promise of the resurrection begs us to understand this and to live it out everyday. Throw that tolerance to the wind – let that go – and embrace this year as a chance to live each day in power of the resurrection. Let yourself redefine faith like a child would. Don’t hold back. If you belong to God, then display that to your world. Don’t be ashamed. Don’t be fearful. Don’t let the value this world places on faith, be your guide for living a life of true faith in God.

Everyday is an opportunity to live out the promise of the resurrection. We just have to choose to live a life of faith like this. Allow the first Easter to define for you how to live a life of dynamic faith and true hope. We serve a living God who didn’t sacrifice His life for lie. Everyday we live should be a celebration of our faith in the Lord and in the promise of the resurrection of Jesus.

easterverse copy

Nick Emery inspiration, prayer, shame, spiritual disciplines, Uncategorized

confession time

I love my mom. And that’s not the confession I’m making…

Many years ago she started e-mailing us kids each day of the work week; she shared a verse and thought of the day from a devotional calendar that she has. And it has stuck – and now we get a little glimpse into whatever she is doing that day, etc. as well.

Today’s e-mail made my heart happy. Life over the past couple of years for my mom has been hard. She lost her sister and then almost a year later, we lost my brother. So things have been tough – but she has been faithful with her daily e-mails and faithful to encourage others. Today she shared this: “I had a chance to witness to Debbie, our apartment manager, yesterday. She is really close to the truth, and wants to understand the bible-please pray that the Holy Spirit will give me the right words. I invited her to church, and will invite her to go to Bible Study…”

I wrote her back and I told her I loved her and I loved her heart for others. She told me she has really grown and been stretched this last year. And its great to see her wanting to share with others about her faith in the Lord and the hope she has in God. And it is true – something has changed in her…

I’m also madly in love with my wife. And that’s no confession either – pretty much everyone knows how crazy I am about her…

My wife shared with me recently that she has a new desire to be more open to sharing about the love of God with people she is connecting with or new people she meets. If you know her, you know that she tends to be more a “behind the scenes” kind of person. But recently, God has been growing her and stretching her to look for opportunities each day, wherever she is at, to connect with people and to point them to Jesus. And guess what? Well, every park we’ve been to with the kids in the last couple of weeks the Lord puts on my wife’s heart to connect with a person she meets there. It’s incredible – this change in her, this desire and boldness…

My mom and my wife are inspiring me with their desire to share with others about their love for God. The Lord has used them to re-ignite within me an awareness of what He has already at work doing in the lives of people I encounter each day. Their example in my life has encouraged me to more bold with people I connect with. It’s led me to pray with strangers at the pet store and Wall-Greens. It’s led me to stop, connect and listen with people I normally pass by. And it’s given me opportunities to share with each of them, the hope that I have found in the Lord.

So my confession is this: I have not been good at sharing with others the hope that I have in the Lord. And to my family and friends who aren’t yet connected to God – I am sorry I haven’t been more courageous about sharing my faith with you. We know its there – for crying out loud, I’m a pastor. But I want that to change. I want you to see in me and my actions the hope that I profess in Jesus Christ. I don’t want to just pray for you, I want to, if you’ll let me, to pray with you. And, regardless of what you might think about the church, or the Lord – I want to, if you are willing, to have great conversations with you about God and His love for you. I love each of you and I want to spend eternity with you. I care about you, and about us, and I care too much to stay silent about this anymore.

So…who are you going to share going to share the Good News of God’s love with today? There are people all around you that need to know the Hope you have in the Lord – be bold, be courageous and point someone to Jesus today!

Nick Emery love, prayer

the things kids teach us

Recently I experienced something really great with my two girls. There was this moment, with each one of them, that God spoke to me powerfully through them…

A few nights prior to this, my wife and I gathered up our two girls for prayer before bed. We asked the girls what we could pray for them about. Our oldest shared this: I really want to see my friend. Pray that I see my friend soon. I really want to give her a hug. Now this particular friend of hers that she wanted us to pray for, well she doesn’t see very often. This friend that our daughter wanted to see is the grand-daughter of a friend of our girls grandma – so they only see their friend when their grandma does things with their friend’s grandma. But our oldest daughter wanted to see her and wanted us to pray that she sees her soon, because she missed her and wanted to give her a hug. So we prayed with her about this, and honestly, I didn’t think much more of her request…

Fast forward now a few days – we went to hear Francis Chan speak at another church. My anxiety level was pretty high as we drove there. We were late. I never took any opportunity to pause and gather myself that day. Just went from one thing, to the next. I was busy. Arriving late, waiting in a big line, trying to check our kids into the kid’s program. It was all too much for me to handle and I had a horrible attitude. I was a mean old grump for a few moments – to my wife, and to my kids. Not a moment I am proud of – as I hurt the feelings of the three most important people in my life. But rather than stopping, to say sorry, to share how I was feeling – I pressed on. Busy. Gotta go. Gotta get into church…(and oh the irony of that…)

Once into the church, we couldn’t find a seat, so we were sent to the overflow area, which was full. Then, we were sent to the video cafe. After the service we went to pick-up our girls and they had a great time. I had our younger daughter and Melanie had our older daughter. Getting through the crowds in the kid’s center was a bit hectic. I got outside and realized that Melanie and our older daughter were no longer behind us. So we waited. Finally they came out – and guess why they got delayed? Because God answered our oldest daughters prayer: she saw the friend she prayed for and was able to give her a hug.

The look on her face was amazing. She knew she prayed for something special. And God answered her prayers. Neither of our families goes to this church often, yet it was at this place that God answered her little prayer. Just because we get busy, and are surrounded by crowds, doesn’t mean that the Lord can’t still do amazing things. Through her, I saw God answer a prayer – one prayed in simple faith – but one that got my attention and said: stop, and trust in Lord – rest in Him – God is faithful.

As we drove to dinner, I prayed quietly to myself: Lord I’m sorry for my attitude today. I’m sorry for not spending time with you. I’m sorry God for speaking to my family in a harsh way tonight. I then looked at my wife and apologized to her and the girls. I was wrong. I made a choice earlier and it hurt her and it affected my kids. I was wrong and I was sorry.

We drove for a few more minutes, and here was a chance at redemption: my wife expressed now how she was feeling anxious about something. And how did I respond? Not like the forgiven Nick I should have. I responded, again – in such a negative way, and again, I spoke towards her in way that wasn’t loving or supportive. And again, after dinner, I was feeling pretty negative about my actions. I began to share, again, with my wife how I was sorry for how I had spoken to her. And again, I asked for her forgiveness.

Admitting you are wrong is tough – doing it twice in a row, is pretty hard. Learning from a mistake is so important. In that moment, I felt so crummy. I had such an “off” day. I had responded so poorly to so many things. It was embarrassing. I lacked so much joy and excitement. I was ashamed.

The car was pretty silent at that point. I was deep in thought, reflecting on everything. And from the back seat of the car, our youngest daughter told me she loved me. Sweet, right? It put a little smile on my face. But then something amazing happened. She started to sing. The words out of her mouth melted my heart and broke down my shame and embarrassment. She sang: God’s still working on me, to make me who He wants me to be…

God reminded me through the continued forgiveness of my wife what grace does to shame – it destroys it. God reminded me through the prayers of my daughter, a simple prayer of asking to see and hug her friend – that He is faithful and that I can truly trust in Him with every need and desire I have. And, the Lord spoke to me in this breakthrough moment of repentance through a little kids song, sung by my youngest daughter. It was as if the Lord Himself was right there, saying: Nick I love you and I am still at work in your life to make you who I want you to be.

I desire above else to be a great husband and great father. I want to encourage and lift-up my wife in all that we do together. And I want to be a loving and faithful example to my daughters. And seeing God at work through the prayer of one daughter and the song of another, it gives me tremendous joy – God’s desire to work in my life!

And, I hope what I learned about the Lord through my daughters encourages your heart and points you to the truth that God loves you too, and that He is at work in your life to make you who He longs for you to be. This is, what Brennan Manning says, is the furious longing of God that “the God I’ve come to know by sheer grace, the Jesus I met in the grounds of my own self, has furiously loved me regardless of my state – grace or disgrace. And why? For His love is never, never, never based on our performance, never conditioned by our moods – of elation or depression. The furious love of God knows no shadow or alteration or change. It is reliable. And always tender.” (The Furious Longing of God, Brennan Manning)

Through the tenderness of my children, God reminded me of the amazingness of His love. May you experience this life-changing, furious love of the Lord today…!